Ikumatsu and the Fantabulous Christmas Noodles
by dangerouscat
Summary: A Christmas story about food, companionship and a weird Santa in the middle of the mountain. Gintama, Katsura/Ikumatsu Yorozuya and Eli.


_Note: this is a Secret Santa gift.  
Disclaimer: GinTama belongs to Hideaki Sorachi._

* * *

It was a snowy night of December and the city of Edo felt calm under the spell of charming white. It was the perfect time to enjoy a delicious meal; one with high nutritious content and, if possible, a portion of wonderful meat. People from Edo often went to have a taste of soba, tonkatsu or ramen. It is in a humble ramen shop, the "Hokuto Shinken", where our story starts.

The ramen shop was popular, and even more so the owner of the place. Nishiki Ikumatsu was famous because of her kind heart, good looks and the exquisite ramen she prepared. It was not as packed as to never let her have a chance to rest, but it was lively enough to present a welcomed challenge. Most days she would be the only person working on that place, sweeping the snow outside, buying the ingredients, preparing the broth with enough anticipation; and despite all the work, she would attend her customers with the brightest smile on her face. She would ask each customer how their day was and, perhaps, such was the reason with everyone kept coming back with more hunger than before.

You could say Ikumatsu was a lucky person, but she had a shadow she couldn't let go despite the years. Her husband had died saving the country some time ago, leaving the poor woman with a lot of dreams and promises to fill by herself. Daigo was a good man, but his now widow sometimes thought it was unfair he had left her so soon.

Sometimes, after almost everyone left and the shop closed, an eccentric pair would stay at the place to help Ikumatsu clean. Hipster-looking long haired samurai rebel himself, Katsura Kotarou, and his faithful companion Elizabeth. Ikumatsu would often accept the help from her comrades, even if some old grannies would tease her, asking who was the handsome man helping her now. Elizabeth was another case, as they would often find themselves mute before asking their doubts about the origin of such a weird creature. To be quite honest, Ikumatsu didn't know either and concluded some things are better not asked. It was enough to see the trust and happiness in Katsura's face when he talked to his pet: maybe in his brain full of hair, Elizabeth looked like a cute duck? She would never know.

Sometimes she would look at the pair and catch herself smiling warmly.

On this particular night, Ikumatsu remembered Christmas was happening soon, be it because of the mood of all the people visiting her, or the little presents given to her, or all the decorations in Edo starting to illuminate the otherwise dull streets.

She cleaned the big dishes and containers and, every two minutes -Katsura counted them- she would leave a long sigh. He would not ask, afraid to intrude in excess; but after the seventh sigh, Elizabeth showed a signboard.

"Why don't you ask her what's wrong?" Elizabeth asked his friend.

Katsura wouldn't dare to ask directly, but a push from his pet gave him enough courage to do it.

"What's wrong, Ikumatsu-dono?" The Jouishishi asked her.

"Oh, it's nothing," she replied, "it is just that I remembered Christmas is coming. There is a special ramen recipe I would like to make, but it is no more than an urban legend."

The legend said each winter a mysterious mountain appeared for the pure of heart, and in said mountain you could find a powerful creature guarding a golden box. If you convinced the creature, you could obtain ramen noodles created by supernatural forces, which gave ramen a flavour that could only be dreamed of. Ikumatsu thought that if she could have those noodles with her, her shop would be incredibly popular during Christmas and she could make a lot of people happy on such a special day.

Katsura didn't say more, and Elizabeth and him left the shop like normal. But the pair knew they had a mission to do, and they would need some reinforcements.

* * *

"Be careful, don't let this guy trick you," Sakata Gintoki warned his followers about the possible evil schemes of his childhood friend. He had to admit the guy was good, buying him the parfait he loved the most, Shinpachi barely resisting the chocolate cake in front of him, and Kagura almost finishing her second order of steak...

Gintoki sighed, and Katsura wondered if sighing was something everyone would do these days.

The Yorozuya used all the resources and informants they had, but found nothing. Entire three days wandering around the cold and snow, seeing other people and getting pissed off at the sight of them because they had enough money for good gifts and they did not. But the boss of the Odd Jobs group knew Katsura liked 'NTR' and decided to keep going for the sake of his airhead friend. Besides, he would get two extra parfaits for each day of work, so it was not like he did not get anything from the mission.

Christmas was coming and the opportunity of finding this secret place became thinner; they decided the information given to them was not enough, and went to the ramen shop.

The truth is, Ikumatsu had not given Katsura the whole information he needed for this mission. She blinked when she saw the whole group in front of her asking for more details, as she did not expect anyone to take her useless wish as a compromise. Ikumatsu had talked with her late husband about these noodles, as they were both very passionate ramen enthusiasts. Also, her husband had collected data for a couple of years regarding this subject, which Ikumatsu made appear by opening a tiny wooden box with all they needed: drawn maps, magical mountain invocation rituals, how to perform the KameHameHa and a thesis about Yamcha and death.

Gintoki realized the last three days were useless and decided to release some stress by kicking Zura's face.

"I'm going with you," Ikumatsu said at the end, and after some retorts from Shinpachi and Katsura about the mission being too dangerous for a simple ramen shop owner, she added, "you need the expert eyes of a simple ramen shop owner to know which noodles are the most special. Besides, this is all for the sake of this place."

"I can feel safe enough around you guys, isn't that right?" Ikumatsu winked at them and Katsura felt nervous.

* * *

"Oi, why are we wearing these useless clothes, Zura?" A man dressed in red and wearing a long silver beard complained.

"It's not Zura, it's ZuraClaus! Don't be stupid, Gintoki. We need to convince the creature that we will use the noodles for a greater benefit. And what a better idea than to make them think we are the real Santa." A very strange man, dressed in red also, wearing a long black wig replied.  
"But there can only be one Santa!"

They walked towards a wide location where everything was covered with snow, the wind was wild and chilly and the sky was depressing and gray. But as sensei had told them, the tiniest light could appear even in this kind of place.

What was the invoking ritual about, you ask? Simple! They needed to sing "We wish you a Merry Christmas" replacing "Christmas" with "Noodles", and that's all! So, the choir conformed by Kagura, Shinpachi, Eli, Ikumatsu, Katsura and Gintoki started chanting "We wish you a Merry Noodles!" in the middle of the white rice fields and, soon enough, a blinding manifestation appear in front of them. They nodded at the same time and jumped towards the spatial distortion.

The group found themselves in front of a big mountain. The wind was weaker than on the outside word, and there was a clear path to follow if they wanted to reach the top. They walked on said line and estimated they would not be able to reach the top in the following hours, so they needed to look for a place to spend the night. It was weird how the mountain had noodle plants covered in white instead of normal plants, or how the single river of the mountain was not frozen, instead giving liquid ramen broth along the height.

They took some branches from a useless citrus tree which citrus tasted like garlic and made Kagura sob for thirty minutes.

The weather became wilder and eventually the group found some cave in the middle of the mountain after having wandered for a couple of hours. They started a fire with the branches and warmed themselves.

"Okay guys, it is time for dinner. What did you bring?" A perm head picking his nose asked.

"Errm, the truth is I couldn't find any decent food. My sister only made me some of her food..." Some human-wearing glasses said.

"Katsura-san told me he was in charge of the food, so I didn't worry about it," a weird creature said.

"What?! I had told you I was in charge of the food for our drama marathon, Elizabeth! Not for the ramen marathon!" A wig exclaimed in panic.

"I have sukonbu," a girl dressed with foreign clothes explained, "but I have already eaten half of it. Beg your Queen if you want to eat, hoho~!"

Gintoki facepalmed. They paused, and then looked towards Ikumatsu, who was already taking out a big container, six soup dishes and some other ingredients. "It's okay. I prepared for this. I only need the broth from the mountain and the citrus from its trees. I brought noodles and the rest of the things," she said, offering a smile.

They were in the middle of a mysterious mountain far away from civilization, the storm became powerful outside the cave, they only had ramen for the rest of the travel and made sure of eating lots of it. But everyone ate with a soft expression on their faces, enjoying the company of each other inside the cave. Maybe it was that Ikumatsu's ramen soothed the hearts of those who tasted it, or the special flavour of the local natural broth, or maybe it was another kind of affection.

Soon, suddenly drunk by the heavy weight of sleepness, Shinpachi and Kagura were the first to fall. They left Sadaharu at home in fear he could get a cold, but they still had Elizabeth. Elizabeth felt strangely comfortable with the two young ones curling against him for some warmth and fluffy sensation, which made Elizabeth go to the world of dreams in a blink. After they finished cleaning everything, Ikumatsu was so tired any surface could do. Gintoki kicked Katsura softly and made a face, pointing at the ramen shop owner. Katsura carried the sleepy woman and placed her in an available spot next to Elizabeth and Kagura. He stared at her peaceful face; surprised himself wishing he could do it longer.

Instead, he just placed red Santa jacket over her body. Gintoki would do the same with his own, placed over Kagura and Shinpachi. They sat together: walls and floors made of stone were comfortable enough for two old war comrades. The pair centered their last moments of consciousness admiring the sight of the group in front of them before visiting the land of dreams.

* * *

The next morning, they felt full and ready to resume their journey. Kagura started screaming, as usual; Shinpachi started shouting back, as usual; Gintoki would complain, as always; Katsura and Elizabeth would make fun of Gintoki, as normal; they would shut up when Ikumatsu scolded them, and then Ikumatsu would start laughing because she thought such a scene was cute, and the rest would follow her in her laughter as it was contagious.

They walked towards the more difficult path, the last portion of their journey towards the building at the top. Elizabeth touched Katsura's side with his elbow, "maybe you should help her for the rest of the trip."

Elizabeth was right: those sandals were not appropriate for a lady to walk long distances, and even less if they were covered with snow. Ikumatsu wouldn't say a thing to not be a bother, but her expression showed how tired she really was due to the physical effort. But the thought of what he wanted to try stiffened his muscles and made his face the color of apples. He tried to focus like a warrior, but couldn't, so he remained quiet. Elizabeth sighed -what's up with all the sighing? - and pushed him towards the woman, a signboard showing: "Ikumatsu, why don't you let this idiot carry you? He would be happy to."

Gintoki didn't lose a sight of the opportunity and sang: "Oh yes, Zura! You have to do what it takes to slurp it all, remember-"

The Santa with silver curls didn't say more because an entirely red Santa -from toes to face- kicked him full on the face, shouting, "You shut up, you bastard! Do you want me to kill you?!"

Katsura calmed himself and then just knelt before Ikumatsu, inviting her. She stared at him and then accepted the invitation. While Katsura carried her, there was a strange warmth blurring her vision, but she decided to trust the touch of the man supporting her weight and, admiring his back, let herself drown into the confusion, even if just for a little moment.

They finally entered an old castle, red carpet decorating the floor, floating noodles who had fire on top of them illuminating the area, the delicious scent of soy sauce and pork meat filling their senses and making them feel like home, even if thousands of kilometers apart from the real one.

"Excuse me! Is anyone here?" Santa Gintoki announced inside of the great room. "We are the Santas who try to save Christmas with the noodles from this place! Answer, oi, or all the kids in the world will feel disappointed!"

An strange aura surrounded the group, a mysterious shadow creeping them and a voice whispering: "That's funny. Is Santa really coming to town? And ask of my ramen?"

"Who asks?" SantaZura wondered.

A big figure appeared in front of them, an old man with a weird color scheme. "The real Santa, of course!"

* * *

The man in front of them was the real thing, but from another world; instead of a belly, he was built like a rock; his Santa suit was a little too dark for the normal Santa, instead looking more brown than crimson; the eyes were more sharp than kind; and, more importantly, replacing the trademark white long beard was an interesting long beard made of... noodles!

"Yes, I'm the Real Santa... of ramen!"

Ikumatsu gasped. That beard was made of the noodles of legend her husband and her were looking for so long! They were in front of her eyes, she was certain of it. Upon hearing this information, the two fake Santas decided to do all it took to obtain them. Who could have known a Santa of ramen would exist? They didn't know what to think, do they just decided to go with the flow. Santa Gintoki had a plan for this, and using his beautiful rethorics, tried to ask the Santa of Ramen to just a little bunch of the noodles from his beard. If he really was a Santa like them, he would understand the happiness he could give to a lot of people this Christmas by tasting a ramen made with those noodles. The old man did not seem convinced, so he looked at his partner in crime, asking for some assistance.

"I was on stand-by the whole Santa arc," ZuraClaus said.

But making Santa's spirit falter was not proving to be easy. because only worthy ramen shop owners could receive the gift of his noodles. Both Santas decided to assault the big man, thinking that perhaps the experience of two Joui, one yato, a pair of glasses and a dangerous-looking space creature could be enough to pull away a handful of Santa's beard. And yet nothing was useful; Katsura and Gintoki's jumps couldn't reach the man, for Santa would jump too high, and Kagura's kicks would not affect the King of the Mountain, because his abs were too powerful even for her Yato strength.

"I didn't expect Santa to be this powerful!" Elizabeth complained. Shinpachi could only see how his comrades failed to take some noodles from Santa's beard.

When he felt tired of everyone's efforts, the Santa of ramen approached Ikumatsu.

"You..." Santa started saying, "you are a ramen shop owner. Tell me why you are here and I may let you return home."

Ikumatsu felt nervous, but looked at Santa to the eyes and then stared at his beard. She admired those beautifully crafted and seemingly tasteful noodles. She remembered the illusion on Daigo's face when he mentioned about the legend and when he research in all places for information, successfully helping them with a detailed map and instructions about how to reach there. Without Daigo's help they couldn't be there. She also recalled the smiles of her friends, and the warmth of SantaZura's protective body carrying her weight. It was the first Christmas season she spent surrounded by the love of so many people after having the ramen shop for herself.

"I am here because my late husband and I thought the taste of the ramen made with your beard was special and would give happiness to all of Edo. I also wanted to test myself as a ramen cook and go to my limits," Ikumatsu doubted for a couple of seconds while taking out a bunch of papers from her bag.

"My husband also thought you would be interested in this," she said, while giving Santa the documents. Those were the instructions for making a decent KameHameHa, and the thesis about Yamcha and death.

"You..." Santa's body was shaken by this action, and Ikumatsu was scared he would be angry, but tears appeared on his eyes instead, "how did you know I was a big Dragon Ball Z fanboy?!"

"Eh?" Ikumatsu said.

"EH?!" Everyone said.

* * *

After the gift from Ikumatsu to the Santa of ramen was confusingly successful, Santa was delighted to give them his beard after they watched him perform the KameHameHa for the first time, which made Gintoki jealous. He could do a KameHameHa better, if only he had given enough attention to those instructions instead of feeling lazy.

They thanked Santa for everything and left the magical dimension via another mysterious portal and soon they found themselves on chilly Edo once again, yet carrying a great number of noodles with them.

The group spent that night at the Hokuto Shinken ramen shop. They had arrived on Christmas eve and, due to the lack of time, Ikumatsu asked for the help of the Yorozuya, Katsura and Elizabeth to make the ramen: a delicious dish that would melt the hearts of the customer and make them feel loved on Christmas. It was not only the flavor of the broth from the mountain or the texture of Santa's noodles; it was also the collaborative effort of a family in heart which would prepare the ramen with all the love they have. It was a success and the general public was so grateful they wondered what trick Ikumatsu had used for this ramen, as it was not like any other one.

The smile on their faces upon leaving the place was more than enough to fill Ikumatsu's appetite.

When everyone left and only the Yorozuya, Katsura, Elizabeth and Ikumatsu were there, she served her friends as a form of gratitude. "It is only logical that you should taste this ramen as well. Please, enjoy it," she said to them.

"Ikumatsu-dono, let me help you," Katsura stood up and approached her. When she passed one dish to him, their fingers touched softly and both of them blushed with a subtle color.

When everyone had their ramen served in front of them, Ikumatsu looked up at her surroundings and felt grateful. She had fulfilled a promise and spent Christmas with the precious people painting her current life with beautiful dyes.

The first time in so long which felt like Christmas to her.


End file.
